i dont know how long i spent obsessing over how i look
i hate everything about my body and it’s been bothering me way more than usual, so it’s been dragging my mood down further and further and im actually kind of scared to meet with alex this summer because i’m probably bigger than what he thinks i am;; 
i know i shouldnt worry about how i look but its been making me feel horrible about myself.
i even feel like i look like a clown or that im trying way too hard when i have makeup on and nice cloths. the comfort makeup’s brought me is gone, which is pretty upsetting.
being fat is making me feel more and more insecure
i’m trying so hard to lose weight but it doesnt seem to be working
idk
this is all really fucking stupid